A Brief History of the Duncan, Part 1

It all began long ago in southern Cumberland. The local government, consisting of a dual democracy and animal-farm-esque-commune system, had just legalized both homosexual marriage, and medical marijuana. During this brief period of immense gaiety, three young women decided to marry and adopt a son. These women were called the witches, although nobody knew why because at the time they were immensely attractive and polite. They decided to name their son a combination of their names, and came up with Duncan. They raised him to always use tablemanners, and that he should always trust whoever's house he's sleeping in. He had an identical twin brother, named Steve, who inherited some of his mothers magical powers. All Duncan ever inherited was their neverending joy, as well as an allergy to peanuts.

Many years later...
Duncans identical twin brother got this woman from Glamis knocked up, and due to the strict laws regarding child custody, had to stay with his daughter until she was 8. This gave her enough time to recognize him, but not well enough to correctly identify his twin brother, Duncan, many years later as she was standing over his recently-stabbed body. Duncan was walking home one day, when he came upon a man wearing a crown. the man said, "i hate being king". And Duncan said, "Ooooh, lemme be king. Please, pleeeeaaasee" And so it happend that Duncan was crowned king of Scotland. However, he did not correctly fill out his 'destiny paperwork', and so instead of going and proudly conquering and unifying Europe and ushering in a golden age of neverending peace, he was slaughtered in Macbeths castle at the age of 37.

The play is cursed...or not?

So...I have a physics midterm on Wednesday, and I just discovered that I left my textbooks at home. When I opened my bag, where the books should have been, I found a cat skull. Go figure. Ok, joking about the last part but sadly not about the first. There's going to be a pissed off Duncan/Macduff for this week of rehearsals....

Mat Without the Second T

Mat, I was wrong saying Mat McBriar was Scandinavian. In fact, I was off by most of the world. He's from Australia. They must put something in the water down there in Australia because they can uniformly kick ass with their kicking foots. Is the solitary T thing a family name, or do you just like being a shade different? HAVE to be so unique, don't you???

No one see the movie Duplicity that's in theaters right now. It stars the two red hot movie stars from that youtube scene I posted the other day (Clive and Julia), yet someone forgot to tell them they were supposed to be sexually electric together this time around. I don't go to Clive Owen/Julia Roberts movies to see them be coy, alright!! I want some sex, for the love of God!

I'm also sick and tired of hearing about LeAnn Rimes (whoever the hell she is) cheating on her damn husband. It's on every station and every magazine, and I hear about it every hour!! Can someone tell me who this woman is and why her illicit sex is something that warrants national attention? Even my mom (a fucking fifty-five year old lawyer) couldn't stop talking about it. Sick consumer culture we live in.

Spring break is weak. It's actually dull enough that I'm noticing as I type this that "break" and "weak" look the same but are pronounced differently. That pisses me off. Yesterday, Aubs and I spent like twenty minutes lamenting how the spelling of the word "one" makes no sense. What a bogus language; Shakespeare should have picked a more intelligible tongue. 

Haha. Yeah, fuck spring break. All things being equal, I'd rather be in Providence.

Yayy, I have an identity now.

Thanks Arik for posting the who's who. Now I can start memorizing. After I finish my physics homework *bursts into tears...*

Mat's Posts/Late-night Rants 3/20

March 20th, 2:38 AM

W00t. Officially the day I go home. Just wanted to say I hope everyone has a great spring break! And good luck learning the lines which we don't know about yet...*cough*Arik*cough*

Mat's Posts/Late-night Rants

March 18th, 1:39 AM (Brazilian Time)

Yayyy...blogging. whooopie. Now everyone on the world-wide-interweb can know how much this lab report sucks. and my knees are still KILLING me from the farm bit in rehearsal yesterday.